On the road again ... finally

This is a look at the Swiss village of Lauterbrunnen near a vantage point high in the Alps called Klein Scheidegg. If I had waited until I got off the train going up, I could have used a photo of a wall of mountains that extended more than 10,000 feet in the air and contained glaciers reaching down from the top. 

The latter is too overwhelming to be captured by a normal photograph. But Lauterbrunnen from a distance works out quite well. 

Moments like this are why my wife Jody and I travel. That opportunity was taken from us in 2020 and 2021 by Covid-19. When you are retired, you can hear the clock ticking when it comes to such trips. The disappearance of two years of traveling was painful. So there was plenty of joy when a 20-day trip to Central Europe - mostly consisting of a cruise on the Rhine and Mosel Rivers - was completed in August.

I like to take notes on these trips to remember where I've been lucky enough to go. The individual locations will be covered elsewhere in this blog; this is the general overview. I had a lot of help on this, and there's a lot to say. You've been warned.

The statistics

Countries visited: Six (Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Luxembourg, France, Switzerland).

Cities toured: 18, depending on how you count (Antwerp, Willemstad, Kinderdijk, Nijegen, Bonn, Cochem, Trier, Luxembourg, Bernkastel, Boppard, Speyer, Strasbourg, Riquewihr, Kayersberg, Basil, Lucerne, Weggis, Brienz.)

The virus

The big vacations always come with anxieties. The trips involve a good chunk of money, a large time commitment that must be planned well in advance, and the ever-present chance that something could get in the way. For this trip, Covid-19 always was lurking. 

If the virus wasn't on the minds of our group during the trip, it should have been. Grand Circle (the touring company) made it quite clear that it would try to make the journey down two great rivers of Europe as safe as possible. Passengers were warned that masks would be required in indoor common areas on the boat (except when eating) and on buses to locations. Hovering over such rules was the fact that the company wouldn't hesitate to kick victims off the boat if they tested positive or were in close proximity to such a case (in other words, a roommate). Considering that the vast majority of passengers were senior citizens and thus were particularly vulnerable, this wasn't a bad idea at all. As one person put it, "I want to get through the trip in its entirety, and go home healthy and on time. If a mask can help me do that, great."

It didn't take long for a flashpoint to appear. A man complained loudly on our first group bus trip that he shouldn't have to wear a mask. He was reminded of the rules, and he instantly became a pariah to some of those watching. The problem, of course, was that the staff of the boat didn't really have much power to enforce the rules, and it was awkward to do so. Cruises tend to breed germs among its participants in the best of circumstances, but this time every cough or sneeze received a little extra attention.

Then came word more than a week into the trip that two people had been sent to Basil, Switzerland, for quarantine, followed by a forced journey home. The details given to passengers were a little vague, but it seemed like this could have been a teaching moment for all concerned. Well, no, it wasn't. Others picked up Covid-19 and quietly exited. The total ran to at least six and maybe more. Considering we started with 70+ passengers, that's a relatively high percentage. 

Jody and I had three friends come home this summer with Covid-19 after vacations, so our relief at returning home healthy was considerable.

Climate change

No doubt all the passengers had followed some news reports about the lack of rain in Europe, which translated to potential problems for river cruising. The fear is that water levels would be too low to allow boat to complete their planned journey. That happened to us in 2018, as we lost six nights to drought in an Amsterdam-to-Vienna trip (we were sent to hotels instead - a reasonable substitute, but still a substitute). 

Sure enough, passengers for this trip received an email shortly before departing that the last two nights of cruising would almost certainly be wiped out due to water levels. The Rhine River - the Mississippi of Europe (shown at right) - was only allowed to carry boats at 50 percent capacity. Other nights on the boat might fall away as well. Apparently 20 passengers decided at that point that the trip wasn't worth the effort, and cancelled. 

Those who stayed received some good news along the way, at least from their perspective. It had  rained - hard - in Switzerland around the source of the Rhine. This was bad news from the point of view of those affected by flooding. But the river's water level received a good-sized if temporary boost. The captain and crew figured out we could make it to Strasbourg, so there would only be the two nights at the end of the trip lost. No wonder our captain received a standing ovation from the passengers at a meeting. 

Here's the point: The river cruise industry always has been dependent on weather-related issues. The problem is that the weather seems to becoming more and more unpredictable. The industry is going to be more and more vulnerable to problems related to climate change for at least the immediate future, particularly in certain parts of the world. Either it adapts to the new rules, or it is in danger of perishing. 

Speed dating

Whenever we've gone on these trips featuring guided tours, we've gone by ourselves. That leads to the first problem: company. So the search is immediately on to look for like-minded people who can provide good fellowship during the days ahead. 

In this case, we got lucky. After landing at the Brussels airport, we got in line for customs clearance ... and I saw a few people with their Grand Circle badges. I said something like, "Grand Circle? You are about to become my new best friends." They had two other couples with them who were traveling in a group, part of a larger gang of couples who have been friends since college way back when and who still get together on a regular basis. Sounds like fun. We figured out one couple lived less than a couple of miles from my sister in suburban Kansas City; small world. We were all friends by the time the ride from Brussels to Antwerp to get on our boat was over.

But the search still continued for travel companions, which usually took place over meals ("Mind if I sit here? Where are you from? Is this your first cruise on Grand Circle?") or on a bus somewhere. You soon learned who was fun, who was downright rude, who was interesting, who was boring, etc., and then hung around the good ones. A basic rule was in force during the process: Don't ask about politics. 

One family that consisted of a grandmother, father, mother and son, and the four of them became excellent dinner companions. Another woman lived in the Massachusetts town where my parents grew up; in winter she moved to a Florida town where Jody's parents lived. Absurdly small world. Our search came with a catch, since I always try to pepper new friends with questions about their experiences on the trip to add to my post-vacation blog. They all handled the assignment with good humor. We salute those curious and interesting people who provided such good company, and at the least welcome them to our email holiday letter list. 

A boatload of observations

* "Ding-a Dong-a!" We noticed a nice coincidence when we landed on the boat. Our hotel manager was the same man who worked our trip from Amsterdam to Vienna four years earlier. At a time when there were so many question marks, a bit of familiarity from a past trip was welcome. So when Dragan Vuchovic of Croatia started his remarks on the P.A. system this way, it was like coming home. 

For what it's worth, it took several weeks after our return the first time to stop saying "Ding-a Dong-A" around the house. We'll see what the time frame is this time. The ship was almost an exact match for the 2018 boat as well, which meant we found our way around quite quickly.  

Speaking of the staff, most of the workers were extremely friendly. Special praise goes to one of the restaurant workers, Vlada. When he said "bon appetite" with a coworker after delivering dinner, he did it a song version that could be applied to Beethoven's fifth. "Bon-ap-pe-teeet!" After a week we were all singing along with them. 

* One issue always come up in such trips such as this, since the passengers are mostly 70 and up. It's an active way to see parts of Europe, and it can be a challenge to those with health issues. The line between go and no-go is hard to draw in such cases. A few people on this trip couldn't have had much fun or even remembered most of the trip. While no one worried too much about those with mobility problems (there were some separate walks for those who preferred the slow lane), I'd feel guilty about holding up half the boat if we switched shoes. 

This all couldn't have been easy for the two people on the boat in their 20s; I will add that they seemed to handle being the only passengers who didn't remember 9/11 quite well.

* One sad development of the trip came when Grand Circle did not hand out a small page of information previewing the next day's activities and menus. Passengers now have to scan a QR code with a phone or tablet (the disadvantages to not having international phone service are starting to mount) in order to get that information. The schedule is also placed on a poster in the lobby. Supposedly, this saves paper and helps the environment. It comes off as more of a cost-cutting move that hurts people - particular some seniors - who aren't particularly computer-literate. Besides, the daily reports made for good souvenirs of the trip. 

* And speaking of phones, sometimes you need one handy when dealing with other people - for fact-checking. Someone said in a conversation that 50 percent of all gay men were left-handed. A search revealed that the gay population as a whole was 50 percent more likely to be left-handed than the rest of the population. So if the general number is at 10 percent, which it is, the homosexual number is 15 percent. That's quite a difference. Another woman claimed at a lecture that 17 percent of all doctors in Michigan are Muslim. Well, no - the number is around 4 percent. An editor's job is never done, even in retirement.

* Beer and wine were handed out for free with dinner at all meals, which seemed like an attraction to some of the crowd. Those were the ones in the lounge for a cocktail hour before dinner as well. Maybe that's why some of the jokes, which on a 1-10 scale were about a 4, got laughs that ranked as a 7. 

* I'm not sure if the low water levels affected the many locks along the way. But some sure were noisy. To paraphrase Bill Haley, it was "one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock lock" when trying to sleep at night. With the water so low, our speed in the water often was slower than normal. That meant we needed to allow a bit of extra time for trips between cities on board. It was only a minor inconvenience. 

* If you relied on the in-board television for news, you generally were out of luck. The only English news channel out of a handful of outlets available was CNN International. That network did cover the stories from my home area about the attack on Salman Rushdie at the Chautauqua Institute and the Buffalo Bills' release of a punter because of allegations of a gang rape of an underage girls during the player's time in college. I did wonder why CNN was available when the BBC or France's English-speaking news channel were also out there. But I didn't travel thousands of miles to watch television. 

* An afternoon trip up into the Swiss Alps provided a good lesson. The group went up about 4,000 feet on a cable car to Rigi Kaltbad to take in the view of Lake Lucerne. Dinner was part of the package, so we piled into a restaurant for a relatively typical Swiss meal.

The catch came when all of us had been seated. I soon realized I had taken a seat right next to an accordion player. A selfie seemed to be the logical response. Now my usual line about that musical instrument is a quote from a comedian: "A gentleman is defined as someone who knows how to play the accordion ... and doesn't." My actual feelings aren't that strong, but I will say that having that type of music blast into my ear for more than an hour was a unique experience. I think I was still hearing "Que Sera Sera" (and what's the demographic for that song?) in my head when I tried to fall asleep that night.   

A joke

A program director told this one; I don't remember it word for word but I'll get the point across:

"I just heard from my wife on the phone a little while ago, and she upset me greatly. She said she had some free time while getting her hair done, and started making up a list of men that she would dump me for. Number five was Tom Hanks. Number four was Antonio Banderas. Number three was Brad Pitt. Number two was Tom Cruise. And number one was George Clooney.

"So I told her that I had been doing some thinking about women that I would dump her for, and I only came up with one name: her sister."

(A point for discussion: This received a good-sized laugh from the crowd. I wonder if the laugh would have been bigger had the punchline been, "her mother." Comments are welcome.)

Once around the continent

* Sometimes European cities can be on the dirty side, particularly when they are big. Therefore, it was surprising that most of the towns on this trip were clean. The exception was Strasbourg, which may have wanted something in common with its big sister of cities, Paris. The surprise came in Basel, which is something of a financial center. It was relatively clean everywhere, but graffiti popped up in several places around the town. It's hard to say why. 

* I'd guess that most prices in Europe were close to what Americans might pay for goods, with some regional exceptions. Switzerland probably was the priciest place on the schedule, and that's where we were on our own for some meals since was the place for our post-trip extension. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the $24 hamburger at a train station. NFL teams don't even charge that at the concession stand. At one point, I ordered water for the table at a restaurant. I later discovered that the bottles cost $7.50 each. Ouch. ($1 equals 1.02 Swiss francs, so we'll call it even.) Supposedly, you ask for tap water and hope for a discount. On the other hand, a place down the street charged $10 for a bottle.

Speaking of pricey, getting your laundry done at a Lucerne hotel qualifies. Need some underwear cleaned? $5 a pop. That's close to "is it easier to just buy new stuff?" territory. 

* A tip for first-time visitors - collect change in your pocket for the public toilets. There are some facilities available in downtown areas, but the cost to use them can range from 50 cents to a Euro. Don't look for relief from department stores, since they often have a guy at the entrance to rest rooms collecting money. Highway rest stops aren't much help either, although there you get a voucher for the money you spent for a purchase in the concession area. Chalk it up to the high price of, um, doing business.

* We often noticed that while several American cars were well represented on the roads of Europe, the usual General Motors products were nowhere to be found. It turns out that the company manufactures Opels and Saabs for that market, the American-named cars are in short supply. A few Cadillacs did cross the ocean.

As has been noted, the cars are generally smaller in Europe - thanks in part to higher gas prices and smaller streets. The exception was in prosperous Switzerland, where SUVs made their first appearance of the trip and luxury cars popped up regularly.  

* Speaking of transportation, bicycles are firmly entrenched all over Europe. Everyone seems to have two bikes - a cheap one for work and a good one for recreation. The problem comes for the American tourist, who isn't particularly used to bike lanes around the streets. The bicycles go by without warning, and the street lining isn't particularly clear for newcomers. Everyone spent all of their time in Antwerp looking both ways several times before taking a step.

 

* Just when I thought I had written about every sport possible, along came sawdust wrestling. You read correctly. We happened to be in Switzerland when the championships, Das Eidgenössische Schwingfest, were taking place.

The combatants, who are heavy in size, compete in a ring about the size of a pitcher's mound. They wear special trunks with handles. The idea is to grab the other guy, force him to the ground, and pin him for a victory. I would guess you could earn points with takedowns, although following the rules in a different language is difficult.

The competition went on for the weekend, and I didn't see an empty seat in the stadium - meaning attendance was something like 10,000 to 15,000 in each session. About seven rings were set up in the middle of the semicircular facility. And when it was all over, the Swiss newspaper had coverage on the front page - not of the sports section, but of the entire paper.  

* I still insist that the t-shirt business in Europe is a huge opportunity for someone with venture capital. Most cities have a poor selection without much cleverness, and the material is on the skimpy side. Switzerland had a good selection by European standards, so it earned most of my money for purchases for friends back home.

There was one exception. The stork is something of a symbol for the Alsace region (Strasbourg) of France - you know, the birds that deliver babies. I did see a shirt that was hilarious. On top were the words "The Storks," set to match the classic logo of the Beatles. There was a photo-shopped picture of four storks walking across Abbey Road. I saw this in a couple of stores, but the biggest remaining size was a small. Darn. Couldn't find it on line, either. 

* Does anybody read in Europe? If they do, they don't use bookmarks. I only found one of the traditional models - plastic with a nice photo on it for less than a few Euros - anywhere. It popped up in a small town in France. 

* One obvious difference in life across the oceans. In America, if some reason non-threatening, old-time music is needed for a certain occasion, the Beatles are still the band of choice. In Europe, it's ABBA.  

Speaking of music, one of the buses had a light rock station on as we drove to a town. It was a surprise when a familiar tune from the distant past came on, but it wasn't the original version. Petula Clark's "Downtown" was covered ... in German. 

* Picture a no-smoking sign, with a diagonal line cutting through the image of a cigarette. Replace the smoke with the name of a town, and you have a sign that tells you on the highway that you are about to leave that town. It was used in France and Germany, and it is a very good idea. 

* There's still no sign of Pepsi in most places in Europe, and no sign of Diet Coke. Coke Zero reigns supreme there. You can pick it out in Germany because of the "No Zucker" lettering on the bottle. The Zucker Brothers, who made the movie "Airplane," probably wondered what was up with that. But it just means "no sugar."

One to chew on

Most cruise lines seem to enjoy celebrating the birthdays of passengers. Jody's birthday landed in the first week of the voyage. She didn't have a strong opinion about a crew celebration at dinner, but didn't discourage it by signing a form to stop it. Therefore, a few staff members of the crew paraded around the dining room with a cake with a sparkler to Stevie Wonder's birthday song. Well, she always liked fireworks.

A person at our table caught a photo of the celebration and passed it on to us, which was very nice. But after the crew dispersed, some other passenger walked over and took a photo of the birthday cake. 

Let's repeat that. The man took a photo of someone else's birthday cake - and only that. 

It was another unique vacation moment. I missed them. It was good to be back.  

(Follow Budd on Twitter @WDX2BB)